When the seasons start to change and mentions of pumpkin spiced lattes, Hocus Pocus and Halloween float through the air, amongst the crunchy burnt orange leaves something wicked this way comes. As L. M. Montgomery wrote “I’m so glad I live in a world where there are Octobers”, it truly is the best month of the year. The change of the seasons is upon us with the faint chill in the air, the month of Spooky Season and Samhain and the glorious month of Locktober.
You may have seen the mentions of Locktober across social media in the dying embers of September and wondered what it was all about? Well, Mistress K is here to give you the rundown about the whole kit and caboodle so you can decide if you’re up to the challenge of the month, or if you want to participate in another way.
How did it all come about?
Alas, as with many things that start on the internet, it’s hard to find the actual Big Bang moment when Locktober came into being. The excellent Cut To The Chaste did a deep dive on the history of the holiday and there was a post from 2015 on the forums at OrgasmDenial.com from a person using the handle of SubMaleSlaveUK who first mentioned that they had termed October as Locktober to challenge themselves to stay locked in chastity for the whole month. This could indeed be the seed from which Locktober started to grow from (although, obviously, that’s the only thing that physically grows during October….)
Back in The Days before The Porn Purge of 2019, the idea then gained momentum on Tumblr (oh how I miss thee) on a post from 2017 titled “Keep Him Locked: A Wife’s Guide To Male Chastity and Cock Cages.” Sadly, this post is lost because of The Purge but it was around 2017 or so that the idea really seemed to embed in the collective consciousness of kinksters.
Regardless of the beginnings of the holiday, we celebrate the idea that came into being and the locks that are shut from the 1st October.
But what does Locktober mean?
The big and enduring idea behind Locktober is that you are locked into a chastity device for the 31 calendar days of October. That’s the Pillar concept but beyond that - it’s entirely subjective to each person participating. When I first became aware of the holiday, some people also don’t orgasm over the course of the month, but to my mind, that’s more the remit of No Nut November.
Locktober is designed to be a month to challenge yourself - to see if you can last out the month being caged or belted.
Pup Taz, in a truly excellent article called “What Locktober, A Month of Locking Up Your Cock, Can Teach All Queer Men About Sexuality”, called Locktober “the kinky version of Lent”, which, as a failed Catholic, makes me cackle and nod approvingly. For those not raised with Sunday Masses, the smell of frankincense and the seven sacraments - Lent is a period of 40 days of abstinence and/or fasting to imitate and honour the 40 days of fasting Jesus underwent in the desert whilst also being tempted by Satan. You can see how the parallels between Lent and Locktober are easily drawn - although maybe resist from calling your Keyholder Satan for your own self preservation.
This sounds like my jam - how do we make it happen?
I applaud your eagerness but let’s not go putting the cart before the horse now! We are talking about 31 days of being locked. The month is supposed to be a challenge - but how used to long-term chastity wear are you really? If you’ve never done more than a couple of hours or never done an overnight being locked in a device, then there’s some training to get you up to shape for the big fight, Rocky.
This article is going to be posted well in advance of Locktober so you can start building your personal resilience for the month. Start pushing yourself so you can learn all the little quirks and oddities that you might experience. Try out sleeping in your device if you’ve never done that before. Try wearing a device for at least 48 hours whilst you’ve got a “normal” day - it’s all well and good wearing a chastity device during a kinky weekend with others, but have you ever tried to drive in your device or sit through a day of work meetings (virtual or otherwise) or done household chores in it? If the answer to these questions is no, unless you plan to spend Locktober on leave and not doing anything but being a monk of chastity, you need to be a Person With A Plan.
(And if it becomes a reason for a Kinky Gantt Chart, well - I am a project and data nerd at heart so I heartily encourage this.)
Okay, I need to put the work in - what else?
Well, as a Domme who loves a plan, you need to ensure you’ve got all the pieces on the board for the month. You’re building up your tolerance for being in a device for the longer term - and maybe during the course of this you’re checking out some devices you might rotate during the month for a bit of ~spice~ - but the next part is to get your Queen on the board. This is not me adhering to a hetereonormative view of relationships, let me reassure you - in Chess, the Queen is the most powerful piece on the board and can move in a multitude of ways compared to the King who is the centre of the game but a great deal more restrictions on his movements. See? Good analogy, even if I do say so myself.
You and your Keyholder need to have a discussion to assess how they feel about you being locked in chastity for a whole month. Some may be happy to support you with the challenge and be keen for what the month may bring for you both - others might have understandable reservations, especially when you consider the balance of your expectations of the month versus theirs. Are you expecting it to be a kink-heavy month, filled with tasks and teasing and maybe a prostate orgasm or two or are you trying to complete the month and anything else is a bonus?
If you and your Keyholder/s are in long-term relationships, then you need to take into account The Real World alongside Locktober. Work, kids, working out, social events - all of these take a degree of our emotional and mental energy resources which you need to factor in. As boring as it is, why not consider scheduling “private time” for you both where you can really enjoy how the month is going? I’m confident that if you already have a Keyholder/s, then you’ll be able to make it work if that’s what both of you want.
And if I don’t have a Keyholder?
As if I could ever forget about you, our wonderful self-locking customers. Again, spend a wee bit of time planning for contingencies - how are you going to prevent yourself from just hunting down your key from its secure location and jerking off when the month gets too testy (no pun intended - or was it?) Maybe you’re not so concerned about that - and fair play to you indeed, my friend! People with an iron will like yours are to be commended. However, most of us are susceptible to temptation in it’s many delicious and delightful forms so….how do you account for it?
Basics first - make it harder for you to access your key. It’s as simple as that. If you keep your key in a sealed envelope, considering freezing it in an ice-cube tray. That way if you are tempted, you’ll have to wait until the ice melts and the frantic urge you’ve had to get your hands on your shift may have sloughed away. (And for the love of all that is Holy/Unholy - don’t try to put the ice in the microwave to speed the process along. There is still metal in the ice, that is a disaster waiting to happen.) The psychology is that if you have to cross some form of barrier instead of it being instantly available, you’re more likely to have a moment to reflect if you really want to proceed. Like eating a bar of chocolate because you’ve got a craving versus having to get up and leave the house to buy a bar of chocolate because you’ve not got any in the house. Aren’t brains brilliant?
The alternative if you don’t fancy faffing around with ice-trays and what-have-you-not, is to consider something like the Chastikey app where you can self-set a lock duration - or have a variable lock when you don’t know when your lock will be released, adding a frisson of uncertainty to your chastity play.
“October is a symphony of permanence and change” - Bonaro W. Overstreet
Next! The month of frolics, tricks and treats itself. October is in the air, you’re confident in your device choices and ready for the pangs of desire. What can you expect from the month?
The big take is that you will not be alone on your journey through Locktober. Every year there seem to be more and more participants. With increasing numbers of participants, that also means a huge community online that will cheer their fellow chastity wearers on during the month. Keep an eye on the #Locktober tag on Twitter - which will aid with the building frustration and those difficult moments.
What if you fancy more than a virtual pat on the back, if you are self-locked or you want to take the pressure of your own Keyholder for the month (with their active consent, obviously.) I’d suggest looking into engaging the services of a Dominant for the month. Quite a fair number of Dominants get involved in Locktober - from deals on keyholding to special offers to put the wearer to the test during the month. We’ve seen everything from daily check-ins to virtual edging sessions to social media humiliation - truly, a smorgasbord of options is available!
When it comes to finding a Dominant - we have our list of verified Keyholders (entirely female Dommes at this moment in time - but we’re always happy to add Dominants of any gender or orientation so reach out if you’re interested!) but feel free to set sail on the oceans of the Internet in search of a Dominant who can offer you what you need.
“Rules, you said rules! Tell us the Rules!”
For those of you eager to please and conform, I take great pleasure in introducing Mistress Thorne. Playing into her sadist side, she is here to tell you that the only rule is: there are no rules! Locktober is intended to be a fun challenge for everyone partaking and in the divine world of chastity, just like our vast range of cages, there is no one style that suits everyone. That said, here are some basic principles she suggests you follow throughout the month:
1. The goal is to partake in chastity for 31 days
Whether that means being locked up non-stop for the whole month or wearing a cage just 10 minutes a day each day, find what works for you and give it a go!
If you have an active lifestyle but still want to partake, why not challenge yourself to spending 31 nights in chastity but hang free during the day. For those late to the party, just because you didn’t start on October 1st doesn’t mean you can’t still join in! It’s definitely the taking part that counts, and that looks different for everyone!
2. Stay safe
Whatever duration you decide to be locked for, please remember that your health and hygiene are top priority! Particularly if you wear a closed cage, full removal for cleaning is recommended at least once a week. We don’t see this as a failure during locktober but a sensible choice to make chastity safe and sustainable! Between sweat, errant drops of urine, the device itself and your underwear - it’s a potential breeding ground for all sorts of bacteria and nobody wants that! So, remove your device at least once a week for a good thorough clean and to swap over to another device if that’s your plan.
3. Plan your devices
For some submissives a month locked will be the longest they’ve ever dreamt of, while for others it’s just a small fraction of their sentence to a keyholder. Either way we encourage you to consider wearing a selection of devices during the month suitable to different activities.
My personal favourite is always going to be a metal cage such as the Steel HoD S100 but for a whole month this may not be sustainable. I encourage you to consider your lifestyle and plan your device(s) around what works for you. In the short term a cage that looks beautiful may take priority but loctober is all about commitment, and finding something comfortable will make the journey much more enjoyable! Perhaps if you play a lot of sport, you may wish to switch to a HoD600 silicone device for that portion of the day, or find something inconspicuous for wearing under work attire.
4. Set your intentions
What does chastity mean for you? Why are you partaking in Locktober and what do you hope to gain from the experience? Having set intentions will help you keep on track and maybe even help deter you from reaching for the key in a moment of despair!
Whether you are self-locking or partaking in Locktober with your Keyholder, it is a good idea to spend time discussing and writing down your expectations and desires, making sure everyone involved is aligned will help the month pass with an enjoyable level of frustration.
Some people use locktober as a way to practice staying locked for a whole month, whereas others use it combined with total abstinence; a full month of chastity and no orgasms, even caged ones. To each their own, but there is a Harvard paper that suggests that those who regularly ejaculate have lower levels of prostate cancer, take from that what you will. It says nothing about ruined orgasms or caged orgasms or prostate orgasms so don’t feel concerned if you or your Keyholder have agreed on releases during Locktober.
Finally, Locktober is a personal experience, don’t get caught up in feeling you need to “out lock” someone else online. What a waste of your precious time and energy. Your chastity journey is valid in whatever form it takes.
Share your experience
We encourage you to share your journey with us on Social Media @HouseofDenial using the hashtag #Locktober and if you are feeling especially daring, why not also visit some of your favourite Dominant's pages too (if you really want to test your willpower that is!)
This is Halloween - everybody make a scene!
You’ve made it to the end of the month! Congratulations to you, I knew you could do it. But how do you celebrate completing Locktober? Do you go straight into No Nut November? Maybe you and your Keyholder have agreed on a costumed scene where your release leaves you howling at the moon or you watch as your genitals rise from the dead. However the end of Locktober culminates for you, we hope that you have fun, stay safe and start planning for next year!