The journey to becoming the perfect chastity slave is an exciting one! Many people who enjoy the control of wearing a chastity belt also enjoy having a clear set of rules and expectations to abide by. For this reason, many keyholders choose to implement a chastity contract.
While it’s easy to get caught up in the excitement of permanent chastity from the get-go, I'm here to advise you to take some time to consider the below suggestions and recommendations to help you get the most out of your new chastity venture.
What is a chastity contract?
A chastity contract is a signed agreement between two (or more) people regarding the usage of a chastity device. The contract requires the user / submissive to hand over control of their genitals to the keyholder / dominant for a specified time period. Both parties agree upon a set of rules and expectations to adhere to during this time, along with penalties / punishments for any transgressions. A chastity contract is not a legally binding document, though is often treated as such, and can be adapted to suit individual needs prior to signing.
Having a written contract is a symbol of dedication to the act of chastity from both parties and also functions as a reminder of the agreed rules.
- Chastity device: a cage, usually made of metal, plastic or silicone, used to restrict access to the wearer’s genitals to prevent sexual arousal, satisfaction or release. Most chastity devices (also referred to as belts or cages) are a type of harness worn around the testicles and penis, though such devices also exist for vulva owners.
- Keyholder: a gender neutral term for the person who will be in charge of the relationship, often also referred to as the Mistress / Master or Dominant.
- User: the person who will wear a chastity device, often synonymous with slave or submissive depending on the specific D/s dynamic.
- BDSM: an acronym used to reference a variety of acts and roles which overlap to include: bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, sadism and masochism.
- D/s: abbreviation for ‘dominant and submissive’ to reference a relationship in which the power balance is unequal, in favour of the dominant party.
- Hard limits: boundaries set by an individual regarding types of play/interaction they will not consent to being involved in. Hard limits are non-negotiable and should be respected by everyone involved.
Types of chastity relationships
There are three main forms of chastity dynamic: self-locked, chastity with a romantic and/or sexual partner and chastity with a professional keyholder.
Chastity with yourself
As we will be dealing with negotiating chastity contracts between multiple participants, we won’t cover self-locked chastity in-depth here as this only involves the user. However, should you wish to formalise your commitment to chastity on your own terms, you can adapt a standard contract to suit your needs and serve as extra encouragement or motivation. Self-imposed chastity is often used to help with personal goals such as weight loss or addiction or to enhance solo sexual/erotic play.
Chastity with your partner
Any chastity arrangement between two or more people in a relationship should ideally be mutually beneficial and a contract is often drawn up to share the needs/desires of each party, or as a way of committing to their ongoing relationship.
A chastity contract between partners or lovers will vary according to the practicalities of the relationship. Contracts between cohabitees typically contain requirements particular to the couple’s living arrangements, i.e. performance of household chores. For those in non-cohabiting or long-distance relationships it is less likely to focus on the fulfillment of domestic duties but fortunately many services can also be rendered to the keyholder remotely. For example, the user may be required to manage their keyholder’s online diary, order their weekly groceries or assist with any other administrative tasks. Chastity contracts also typically lay out an expectation of how the user should serve the sexual requirements of the keyholder. This can range from direct in-person sexual gratification to the inclusion of phone sex, remote-use sex toys or the provision of explicit photos/videos of the user as desired by the keyholder. A contract may also include stipulations which control the user’s masturbation and/or porn habits to assure sexual fidelity. Any fitness or health goals can also be managed effectively from a distance as well as between cohabiting partners.
Chastity with a professional
Although chastity is a form of bondage well-suited to relationships with a D/s dynamic, many people who are unpartnered still enjoy power play and surrendering their sexual agency. You will no doubt be aware of the stereotype of the high-powered businessman who seeks out the professional dominatrix in their private time to enjoy a respite from the burden of responsibility and control. However, in my 10+ years of experience as a pro-domme, I've encountered people of every gender from all walks of life. There is absolutely no shame in engaging a professional to indulge your kinks and fantasies.
When engaging in chastity with a professional keyholder the relationship dynamic is different to that within a partnered couple. The purpose of the arrangement in this case is to cater to the user’s requirements/requests which may be geared toward self-improvement (e.g. pornography addiction, health goals or motivation) or to fulfil a fetish and is almost always based on a financial agreement. Just as you would pay a plumber or personal trainer, a professional keyholder is unlikely to engage with clients on an unpaid basis, unless in rare circumstances such as the user offering an exchange of professional services.
Vetting & red flags
Giving complete control of your genitals to another person is a very serious responsibility and it’s important that you do your research before handing over any keys! Whether you are choosing to engage in chastity with a partner or professional, safety and the user’s health should be your top priority.
Any form of chastity contract should be very clear and easy to understand by all parties and must include information on what to do in an emergency or in the event of disagreement between both parties. The contract should include details about how and when the keys will be returned at the end of the contract period and what constitutes an acceptable reason for removing (or asking for permission to remove) the device (i.e. health and maintenance, pain, medical appointments, air travel). The contract should include both the user’s and the keyholder’s hard limits which must be respected throughout. If at any point in drawing up the contract the following are observed, I strongly suggest suspending negotiations until these concerns are resolved to the satisfaction of all parties.
Cause for concern
- Not being let out of chastity for regular cleaning (at least once per week, ideally more depending on the device).
- No access to any key. It is essential that both the user and keyholder are in possession of a spare key for emergencies. There are many ways to ensure the user does not access the key without permission, such as: a timed safe, coded lock box, disposable numbered lock or wrapping the key box in tape sealed with the keyholder’s signature/choice of drawing.
- Being forced to wear a chastity cage that is the incorrect size or shape.
- Anything which interferes with work or family duties or that may be detrimental to professional or public appearance.
- Ambiguous contract end date or conditions.
- Unclear method of communication between user and keyholder, especially in emergency situations.
It is advisable to discuss any concerns with your keyholder prior to signing the contract and before any device is fitted. If your keyholder will not be in regular in-person communication (such as a cohabiting partner) then discussing expectations around the amount and type of communication is especially important. Many people in chastity will not have the luxury of their keyholder being present every time the device is removed for cleaning so knowing how to behave in these situations is also important. Keyholders may wish to establish their own protocols for bathing/showering, such as a video call or livestream service so that the user can be supervised.
Being aligned in your expectations of each other during the contract period and having clear communication procedures will drastically improve the experience for everyone involved.
What should a contract include?
Now you have an idea of things to beware of, the fun can truly begin! The chastity contract should be based entirely around the desires of all parties and how to make these mutually beneficial. The possibilities are endless but you don’t have to itemise and record every fantasy you’ve ever had! A very long list can be hard to remember whereas contracts which are simple and clear can still cover a lot of ground. I have included an example contract which demonstrates the principles discussed so far and which can be used as a starting point.
As mentioned earlier, keep in mind that there may be differences between professional keyholders and those in a personal relationship. Do not make any assumptions that a pro-dom will be happy to engage in any form of sexual activity and ensure you discuss boundaries clearly when drawing up a contract.
We encourage you to copy, paste and print the following chastity contract for yourself and your keyholder so that you can both sign and keep a copy.
This chastity contract is an agreement strictly between ____________________ (Keyholder) and _________________________ (User). This arrangement will commence immediately upon signing by both parties and will be implemented for a period of ______________ days. This contract will be enforced from ___________________(date) until __________________ (date). Failure to follow these rules will result in punishment or termination of the contract, as decided by Keyholder.
- Keyholder: Person who will be in charge of the keys to the user’s chastity device and who dominates the user by controlling their sexual function and release. Keyholder may also dominate the user in other ways agreed upon in this contract for the duration.
- User: The person who will wear the chastity device, relinquishing control of their genitals to the Keyholder. Who will also perform other acts of submission and/or servitude during the contract period.
- Chastity device: A genital cage, usually made of metal, plastic or silicone, used to restrict access to the wearer’s genitals to prevent sexual arousal, satisfaction or release.
- Hard limits: boundaries set by each individual regarding types of play/interaction they will not consent to being involved in. Hard limits are non-negotiable and will be respected by everyone involved.
- The user agrees to wear the chastity device for the duration of the contract, unless permitted to remove it by the Keyholder (see maintenance notes below).
- The user acknowledges they will be permitted a maximum of _________ ejaculations/orgasms per ________ days.
- User will not touch or fondle their genitals without permission/instruction by the Keyholder, given entirely at the Keyholder’s discretion. Any such requests made by the user will be denied.
- User acknowledges that rewards up to and including orgasm will be assigned by the Keyholder for good behaviour including, but not limited to: ___________________
___________________________________ (activities Keyholder enjoys e.g. gifts, pampering, dinner dates).
- User agrees to keep a written chastity diary for the duration of the contract (including levels of arousal and frustrations, rewarded orgasms, denied orgasms, cleaning tracker and anything done during release periods).
- The user acknowledges that release may be accompanied by restraint as determined by the Keyholder.
- User will perform tasks assigned by the Keyholder aimed at the user’s development, these tasks may include but are not limited to: running errands, cleaning and serving the Keyholder, being exposed to sexually arousing material or actions without relief, worshipping the Keyholder’s image and/or items of clothing, exercising or other methods of weight loss, learning a new language, instrument or skill.
- Unless accompanied and instructed by the Keyholder, the user will refrain from viewing pornographic or arousing media.
- The user consents to servicing the keyholder sexually in any way they desire including the use of strap-ons, vibrators, dildos and the user’s genitals or other body parts (without climax).
- The user agrees not to question the duration of the contract (once signed) or request early release/satisfaction. The user will not irritate the Keyholder by complaining or otherwise questioning the agreement terms.
Hygiene, Maintenance & Safety
- The user is responsible for purchasing a chastity device of the correct sizing in accordance with the Keyholder’s requirements and the user’s lifestyle needs. The device must be approved by the Keyholder before purchase.
- The Keyholder and user will each take charge of a spare key for emergencies but agree not to touch, use or tamper with this key other than in an emergency situation. The Keyholder may enforce their own rule around the storage of the user’s spare key (e.g. alarmed lockbox or ‘break glass’ key container).
- The user is responsible for maintaining the device, cleaning it regularly and immediately informing the Keyholder of any concerns regarding function or hygiene.
- The user is permitted to request removal of the device for health and hygiene reasons at any time (including medical issues or extreme discomfort) but agrees not to exploit this term for sexual satisfaction.
- The user is permitted to remove the device (using their own key if necessary) for doctors’ appointments/examinations, medical emergencies and any situation where the user is preventing physical harm to their body. In these cases proof may be required at the Keyholder’s discretion after the event.
- User agrees to re-secure the device once any medical concern has been resolved and will inform the Keyholder immediately of any changes to their chastity status.
- Weekly nude inspection is mandatory wherein the user will present themself to the Keyholder:
- Either the Keyholder or user (under supervision) will inspect the device fully for function and cleanliness (both during wear and once removed).
- After device removal and showering, the user will also be examined to check for irritation, pinching, bruising or other health concerns.
- The user agrees to thoroughly clean the device while unlocked and will refrain from any contact with their genitals during this process.
- The user agrees to immediately re-secure the device after every cleaning/inspection.
- The user agrees to maintain good personal hygiene and keep pubic hair trimmed short for the duration of the chastity agreement
- The Keyholder agrees to handle the user with respect and prioritise their health and safety throughout the chastity agreement.
- The Keyholder accepts ownership of the user’s genitals for the duration of the arrangement.
- The Keyholder agrees to keep the user’s key on their person or within reach at all times, with the exception of ____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________ (e.g. air travel, bathing, medical treatment etc.).
- The Keyholder agrees to securely store a spare key in/at: ________________ (location) for emergency purposes.
- Keyholder agrees that the user will be entitled to __________ (number) of releases in any ___________ days. During these release times, the user will spend no less than ___________ hours but no more than __________ hours unlocked.
- The Keyholder agrees that they will be solely responsible for if/when the user is granted permission to masturbate / orgasm / ejaculate.
- The Keyholder agrees to perform routine checks on the user and may request the user strips naked for inspection at any time (in private/out of public view).
- The Keyholder will supervise all cleaning procedures either in-person or virtually via _____________________________________ (insert method of communication e.g. video call, streaming platform etc.)
The user acknowledges that they will financially compensate the Keyholder for their time, effort and dedication to the training / behaviour modification of the user.
A monthly tribute of ______________ (currency) will be transferred from the user to the Keyholder via ______________ (e.g. bank transfer) on the _______________ (date) of each month.
- Both parties agree that modifications to this agreement may be required and such modifications will be added to the appendix of this contract if mutually agreed upon before signing.
- Any disputes regarding chastity of the user will ultimately be resolved by the Keyholder at their own discretion, however the user may terminate the contract at any time if they feel unsafe. This is not a legally binding document but a mutual agreement between Keyholder and user.
- If the Keyholder desires to cancel the contract at any point they agree to give ____________ (days) notice to the user orally and/or in writing.
- The user is permitted to request early cancellation of this contract in the event of:
- Serious or long-term illness on the part of the Keyholder or user, during which their obligations cannot be fulfilled.
- Termination of the relationship between Keyholder and user.
- Chastity causing serious health problems for the user.
- If the contract is terminated, neither the user or Keyholder will re-enter the original agreement. A new contract may be written up once any issues have been resolved and/or amendments have been made.
Penalties / punishments
Both the Keyholder and user agree that deviation from / breach of the contract will result in punishment to be decided and administered by the Keyholder. The Keyholder has the right to terminate the contract as a result of severe infringement by the user.
Breach of the contract by the Keyholder will constitute a cancellation of contract. Cancellation of contract by any party will result in immediate release of the user from their device.
Every misdemeanor committed by the user will be punished. The Keyholder will decide on the mode/method of punishment as they see fit in response to the transgression. Punishments and penalties may include, but are not limited to, the following:
- Physical punishment:
- Verbal punishment:
- Private humiliation and / or degradation
- Chastity prolongation:
Duration (hours / days / weeks) will be solely the decision of the Keyholder but may be influenced by the following guidelines:
- Viewing of pornographic / stimulating material: _______ additional hours / days locked in chastity.
- Unauthorised removal of device: _______ additional days locked in chastity.
- Unauthorised masturbation: ________ additional days locked in chastity.
Keyholder is authorised to enforce the suppression of privileges alongside the above punishments, such as withholding access to the Keyholder’s body / attention, banning of entertainment (TV, games consoles etc.) or enforcing additional chores and tasks for the user.
User and Keyholder agree that all play and punishment will be risk-informed and consensual. Limitations are outlined below but the safeword: __________________ [insert safeword] may be used at any time by either party which will bring immediate termination to the current activity.
Play / interactions carried out under the terms of this contract shall not include:
[Insert hard limits for each person]
- Keyholder: _____________________________________________________________
- User: _________________________________________________________________
Amendments made in this section have been agreed to by both parties and may not be modified after the contract is signed:
Both the Keyholder and user agree, of their own free will, to sign this contract as confirmation of their consent to the above terms and conditions. User is required to immediately secure the chastity device upon signing and the contract will commence upon transfer of the keys.
I ____________________________ (name of user) hereby agree to these terms
Signed: ______________________ Date: ____________________
I ____________________________ (name of Keyholder) hereby agree to these terms
Signed: ______________________ Date: ____________________